Happy First Birthday!!!

On September 24, my son turned one year old. Since I had to work that day, my husband and i just had a small private celebration with our son, and then we had a big party at the end of the week with family and friends. On his actual birthday, we had a cupcake from a local bakery with a candle in it. My husband and I sang “Happy Birthday” and helped our son blow out the candles. When we tried to feed him some of the cupcake he wouldn’t eat it. He didn’t even want to touch it. All he did was pick up the plate it was on, turn it over, and dump the cupcake onto his high chair tray. I put a little frosting on his lips to see if he would try it, and he just cringed, but I managed to capture a picture of it.

That night when I put my son to bed, there were two things I read to him that had me in tears. The first was a letter I wrote to him. In his baby book, there is a section for my husband and me to each write a letter to our son. I decided to wait until his first birthday to write it. As I read the letter, there was no way for me to hold the tears back. Below is the letter.

My dearest son,

I waited until your first birthday to write you this letter so that I could reflect on your first year of life. On a very special night, exactly one year ago, you came into my life. You were so tiny and helpless that it scared me to be a mother, but from the moment I first held you and you looked into my eyes I knew we would be just fine. Over the last year, I have enjoyed every minute of watching you grow and learn new things. While I wish I could slow down time and keep you my little boy forever, I am excited to see the man that you will grow up to be. The most special part of being your mom is the love I have for you. There is no other love like it. You never had to nor never will have to do anything to earn my love. I love you just because you exist. You are my special little boy!

Love,

Mommy

The second thing I read to him was the book On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman. I barely made it through the first sentence before I started balling. My son got a worried look on his face as if he was thinking “What’s wrong mom?” I just smiled at him, assured him that I was fine, and continued reading the book.

It’s hard to believe my son is already one. This past year has gone by so fast. I keep thinking about when he was a newborn and would cry all the time how I would think “Is this crying ever going to end?” What’s interesting is that even though I love the age he is at now, I miss the time when he was a newborn. It makes me sad that he is growing up so fast.

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